D-Day

On Wednesdays, We Get Physical Exams

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Next Wednesday I have a doctors appointment and I’m already thinking of cancelling. I’ve been seeing a pediatrician for the past 22 years and am extremely nervous about seeing a new doctor, even though my therapist spoke with her beforehand. Meeting with an internal medicine doctor translates to various exams and tests that may feel invasive and that to me, seem rather scary. I’d rather have a child puke on me than be laying half-naked on an examination table. That’s how nervous I am. Thank God I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow.

– Voices –

A Poem About Living With an Anxiety Disorder

I am a prisoner of my own thoughts

A slave to my brain

Anxiety and fear loom over me like a gigantic wave, ready to crash at any moment

I live in a constant state of worry

What if

What if

What if

So many thoughts flood my mind and then vanish before I can comprehend them

I feel like I’m going crazy

It’s tiring

Pretending I’m okay

Pretending there aren’t a million voices in my head

Fighting for control over my consciousness