Sleeping With Both Eyes Open

Content Warning/Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault

It’s been two whole days since I was assaulted. I can’t stand looking at myself because every time I do, I can almost see his hands touching me. I’ve finally gotten myself to brush my hair but I refuse to put it up or run my hands through it. That’s what he did. He played with my hair. Massaged my head. Rubbed my neck and back. Kissed my forehead and hand. Slid his hand up my leg. I feel so dirty. No matter how many showers I take or how hard I scrub my skin, I still feel him. I can still smell his breath, even when I’m not in my car. I look at my car and can almost see his face. His voice still rings clear in my ears. I can still see his cunning smile. I feel so helpless and vulnerable. I feel disgusting. My pj pants have drawstrings. His pants had drawstrings. All I want to do is sleep and cry but I hate crying and it’s nearly impossible to sleep.